pictures to burn

As new year begins i must decide which pictures to burn and which pictures to keep.

I wish i was cold as stone.
I wish i could not feel anything at all.

I need.

Have you ever been sad and glad at the same time? I did.
Have you ever tried to accept reality but somehow you wished for the things you hope for? I did.
Have you ever paid too much for your whistle? I did.

ha-ha-ha

the thing is, i know things will happened that way. it's just that

i did?

Four days of agony. Was it? (i slept the most of the nights, and not entirely listening..)  i guess i'm not good at memorizing stuffs..hehe.

But thank God!

be Happy-esh

 

When you want something bad enough, nothing much can stop you. As the Bible says, If you are unable to make up your mind and are undecided in all you do, you must not think that you will receive anything from the Lord. (James 1:7-8)

Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence,

I wish i can control what i feel. I wish i have this power to discipline me but it's so hard. Harder than  i thought it would be. I'm not winning. I always go back to the same old freakin me. The monster inside me is hard to kill, i guess it rooted deeply

Dear God

Dear God,

I have plenty of wishes. I did not expect every wishes i made will come true but please grant those which are good for me according to your will.

Thank you, dear God for your unfailing love and wonderful blessings you have endowed upon me. I am not worthy of your grace amazing God, i'm a  sinner and i cannot be a saint yet You gave me more.

Juary

Remember HIM!

12 Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore.”  

 Remember him before the light of the sun, moon, and stars is dim to your old eyes, and rain clouds continually darken your sky.  

Remember him before your legs—the guards of your house—start to tremble; and before your shoulders—the strong men—stoop. 

Remember him before your teeth—your few remaining servants—stop grinding; and before your eyes—the women looking through the windows—see dimly.

Remember him before the door to life’s opportunities is closed and the sound of work fades. Now you rise at the first chirping of the birds, but then all their sounds will grow faint.
Remember him before you become fearful of falling and worry about danger in the streets; before your hair turns white like an almond tree in bloom, and you drag along without energy like a dying grasshopper, and the caperberry no longer inspires sexual desire. 
Remember him before you near the grave, your everlasting home, when the mourners will weep at your funeral.
Yes, remember your Creator now while you are young, before the silver cord of life snaps and the golden bowl is broken. Don’t wait until the water jar is smashed at the spring and the pulley is broken at the well.  

For then the dust will return to the earth, and the spirit will return to God who gave it.

~Ecclesiastes 12(NLT)

Carpe Diem

Day by day i'm learning.
Day by day i'm trying to fight myself.
Day by day i'm accepting.
Day by day i'm living.

Everyday is a new life.
Everyday is a wonderful blessing.
Everyday is wonderful.
Everyday is a challenge.

Today means i should start anew.
Today means moving on.
Today means letting go.
Today means forgiving.

Joy is not sin

I noticed I have fear of laughter replaced by sorrows. It was like I cannot be happy much since sorrow looms somewhere waiting to strike. I don’t when it started but one specific moment that I will always remember was the day my father died. May 21^st of 2007 my family had so much fun. We laugh our hearts out as if there’s no tomorrow then bang…. the creepy news followed.

Today we have that kind of hearty laugh. Blurry visions, myriad fears and sorrows I feel.  I know  I cannot control unforeseen circumstances I can only pray for our brighter future.

i Pretend to be

i Pretend to be
brave, confident.
no one can tell
for this a mask
i wear
do not be afraid,
intimidated
i'm only human
i feel. i fear.
look beyond this
facade this face
you see
what lies behind is
a real person
overflowing with love
conquered by fear
fear not to be
loved back, rejected
afraid to fall
afraid to displease

I want you!

agghhs! here i go again wanting something i can never have. Dream on!

Odd

One moment I’m ecstatic. I’m so high that I wanted to laugh my heart out. It’s as if I reaching the world, achieving my dreams and nothing can stop me. Life is so beautiful, All I see is beauty and heaven is within my reach. No worries. No sadness just full of love. My spirit leaps for joy. My heart is at peace. I’m forever grateful.    My soul is jumping for happiness, such a glorious bliss. Reminiscing wonderful memories, and seeing bright future.

 Then there are these moments that I cannot understand what I feel, like I want to scream.  I want to cry. I want to run away. I want to hide. I see ugliness in the world. I feel people’s hatred, their consuming heart, their wrath, their sadness. Dreams are so far away. Hope vanishes. Faith shudders.  Fears creep in. I feel so lonely and so alone.  I remember dark past and fidgeting for a bleak gloomy future.  Spirit crushed. Life is worthless.  Days are ticking and not feeling anything. Numb.

Once upon a time

I shouldn't believe  in a happy ever after. Fairy Tales don't exist... lelz

A Promise

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.
To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

by Christian D. Larson 

Fifty Shades

Dang this book. For two days in a row i haven't done anything except reading Fifty Shades Trilogy. I blame El James for this.  Does my time worth it? i think so.  But i really do think this book is only intended for adults.

What i want

i want to be love truly. i want people to be real, if you hate me then so be it. i want a peaceful life. i want to be happy all the time. i want good health for me, my family, friends and everyone. i want my expectations to be inline with reality. i want happy endings. i want to read good books. i want to finish my masters. i want to shoot. i want to travel places. i want to serve the Lord. I want to watch good movies. I want not to sleep. i want my time to be enough. i want to be smart. i want to be great at something. i want my family to be happy and everybody too. i want what i want.

illusion

walkaway now

Just when you thought of having a great eve it turns out to be the opposite. I can see it in your eyes you don’t feel the same way before. I let you go because I can’t stand seeing you. How can I love you so much? You’re different now. You’re cold and I’m pathetic.  I’m hungry for your love that you cannot give.

You know that i would go for a mile just to see you for a night. I would defy gravity just to be with you. I give up forever for you.

From somebody's blog

how much Am I Worth?

Dear Jan,

You are worth of all Heaven. You are worth all the mountains, and hills, and valleys and oceans, because you're the Masterpiece of my creation. You are worth all the stars and galaxies combined together, because you're more beautiful than this entire Universe. You are worth every drop of my blood, because i gave my life on the Cross.

Love yourself!

You have a great Manufacturer. I will keep you forever.

I have loved you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)

God

Thy will be done

Thank you Lord! Praise be your name for the good things in my life and i pray for all the bad things that i may surpass. for guiding me. for protecting me. for saving me. Your grace is sufficient enough.

It is your will dear Lord, not mine :)

25 minutes too late

Hope never dies

I was thinking of hope to let it die. I kept on repeating, "Die Hope, die. You are no good to me. Please die". Yet, i was dreaming of it, telling me that hope will surely stay.

Music and Lines

I'm a great lover of music but i value more the lyrics. I only have 4 tracks on my list:

•  The Bridge Song by Dishwalla band

           I don't know where to go so I guess I have to fly
          I'll have to dream of all good things before I  die
          So where to go, Lord, I guess I'll have to fly
          I'll have to dream of all good things before I die

• Hiding My Heart by Brandi Carlile

• This is how the story went
  I met someone by accident
  Who blew me away
  Blew me away

• Let Go of Her Hand by Right the Stars band

• Somethings were not meant to be forever
  Somethings we were never meant to keep
  And sometimes I would really love to stay and watch her dream
  But I don't think it's time to go to sleep
  
  fall away for the moment
  take in all the love I can
  close my eyes
  than let go of her hand

• In Your Arms by the Last Goodnight band

• You are the most beautiful thing I've every seen in my entire life
  You are the most beautiful thing these eyes have seen
  
  I will fall asleep here in your arms
  Every breath that you take breaks my heart

Gift of limits

Dear Jan,

Give yourself the gift of limits. Just because you're allergic to conflicts you won't speak your opinions. Don't fear in angry and intimidating person and don't you ever allow yourself to be abused by controllers. Build yourself a boundary towards harmful habits and harmful people.

Love yourself more and remember give yourself the gift of limits.

Love,

Me

stop writing your past

I have a problem in the area of detachment.

Missing Tatay on Father's Day

We always celebrated father's day. This day meant creating greeting cards, buying cakes and ice creams, and some cheesy phone calls. I remembered my childhood days, our mother forced us to make cards for our tatay no matter how much i don't like it.

My father died six years ago but during this special day that i missed him the most. I remembered him tying my hair into ponytail. He likes me seeing that way. I remembered him looking at me without saying a word. I remembered him, smiling at me. I remembered our last talk, our last travel. I remembered the last time he got mad at me cos i want to be with my friends rather than accompanying him.

Among all of his children, I know i am his favorite. From the moment i was born i am my father's delight. Sometimes i dream of him yet every time it happened i can only saw his face and i cannot hear his voice.

I have't said i love him.

Dear Jan,

If you want to enjoy life, heal your toxic shame.

Toxic shame is your dream killer, your joy stealer, and your spirit cancer...

Don’t be afraid, because you won’t be put to shame. Don’t be discouraged, because you won’t be disgraced. You’ll forget the shame you’ve had since you were young… (Isaiah 54:4)

God

Strangers

It's sad when two people became strangers. when Just a little while ago, you shared secrets. You shared dreams. you shared laughter. You both know each others innermost thoughts. And it seems like you can't live without the other half. How do we became strangers? What happened to us? Was it just me?

Jealousy

Sometimes jealousy will eat you alive. It ruins you. We all get jealous. We are jealous of we thought our closed friend only to find out you're not part of their life. We are jealous of people's look, why they seemed to be perfect and we're not. We are jealous of intelligent people and wishes we have their brains...ANd a lot more!

The thing is how do we deal with it? How can we fight our emotions?
 The first step is acceptance.

Don't Quit

What's the point of judging others? will it give you a self satisfaction? does it make you feel superior? cos honestly i don't get this. At times i want to shout at their faces: "Please Re-evaluate yourself and above all else, please judge yourself and not the others". Group of professionals (so they called themselves) talk about their colleagues, cracking below-the-belt jokes, makes them laughing so hard. Watching them makes me sick like i want to evaporate. I think it's not my thing-tearing people down, mocking, scrutinizing. The world doesn't need that Let's spread love and joy!

As one active oldtimer once said: " If you are not committed to something, you are just occupying space." And so, to be able to face the reality of growing older day by day, gracefully and meaningfully, we share the following prayer:

"Lord, you know better than i that I am growing older and someday will be old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion.

"Release me from craving to straighten out everybody's affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all... but you know Lord, that i want a few friends at the end.

"Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details... give me wings to get to the point. Seal my lips on the aches and pains. They are increasing and the love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by.

"I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of others, but help me at least to endure them with patience.

"I dare not ask for improve memory but for a growing humility and a lessening cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken.

"Keep me reasonably sweet. I do not want to be a saint-some of them are so hard to live with-but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil.

"Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places and talent in unexpected people. And give me the grace to tell them so."

--Anonymous

Next time I'll shoot RAW

I never shoot RAW for one reason-it consumes memory. I only have 4GB. The very significant benefits of shooting RAW is you can make adjustments to your shots. RAW is for shooting QUALITY image.

Windmills of Your Mind - original : Noel Harrison

Round like a circle in a spiral

Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending on beginning
On an ever-spinning reel
Like a snowball down a mountain
Or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that's turning
Running rings around the moon
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on its face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind

Like a tunnel that you follow
To a tunnel of its own
Down a hollow to a cavern
Where the sun has never shone
Like a door that keeps revolving
In a half-forgotten dream
Or the ripples from a pebble
Someone tosses in a stream
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on its face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind

Keys that jingle in your pocket
Words that jangle in your head
Why did summer go so quickly?
Was it something that I said?
Lovers walk along a shore
And leave their footprints in the sand
Was the sound of distant drumming
Just the fingers of your hand?
Pictures hanging in a hallway
Or the fragment of a song
Half-remembered names and faces
But to whom do they belong?
When you knew that it was over
Were you suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the color of her hair?

Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning
On an ever-spinning reel
As the images unwind
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind

So Far Away - Bamboo

Yesterday was my day 1 in swimming lesson 101. it was my first time to float. dang, i should've done this way back then. i didn't know It feel so good :) this is really my coolest summer ever!

all day bummer

Lately i have this piggy attitude. An abomination to the Lord! here i am again a slothful servant :( I know i have a lot of things to do. In fact i have my to do list for a day, a week and even for a month! yet, not even one accomplishment for my day. I sleep, eat, and play. Blame this tetris game.

a day with them - (yesterday)

We went to cdo for mia's laptop and jofil's ipad/eepad/and phone and for the "Avengers" movie. It was a tiring day yet fun but i did not enjoy the show. I don't know perhaps because of the sound or because it was a big cinema.

This Joe here from Orlando Florida, caught our attention scolding crews from Peppeero. He wants a bucket of popcorn but only Jumbo sizes were available and he got mad. He said, crew's were lazy and they're not finding any ways to satisfy a customer, he knows the owner..blabla. he got this big mouth(haha) but somehow he may have a point but then he shouldn't done the american style of scolding an employee.

On trusting God and His plan

"No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by God's decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee." [Umar Ibn al-Khattab]

No Regrets!

Reminiscing my past, i can say i did a lot of crazy stuffs :} things - whether i did it for love, for foolishness sake or for no reason at all. i'd rather not mention the details here cos it's really stupid but hey! i'm just human. YET i have no regrets cause it's the only time i learn. I'm 29 and they say i'm old but i'm still learning more about life. GUess i'm a late bloomer.

Ingrid Michaelson - Maybe (Official Music Video)

1 Corinthians 13:7

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Empty-Ness

A :( fact: there's a hole in me that only you can fill.
#butikeepmoving

Day 28 #Marchphotoaday

My little trash container on my desk.

Day 27 #Marchphotoaday - My Name

Mga 744,000 (na) resulta (0.28 segundo)

Day 26 #Marchphotoaday - Key

Our Room in Bohol. glad to have a vacay once in a while.

Day 25 #Marchphotoaday - Breakfast

My usual breakfast :) addict.

Day 24 #Marchphotoaday - AN animal

Tarsiers are small animals with enormous eyes; each eyeball is approximately 16 mm in diameter and is as large as its entire brain.[11] Tarsiers also have very long hind limbs. In fact, their feet have extremely elongated tarsus bones, from which the animals get their name. The head and body range from 10 to 15 cm in length, but the hind limbs are about twice this long (including the feet), and they also have a slender tail from 20 to 25 cm long. Their fingers are also elongated, with the third finger being about the same length as the upper arm. Most of the digits have nails, but the second and third toes of the hind feet bear claws instead, which are used for grooming. Tarsiers have very soft, velvety fur, which is generally buff, beige, or ochre in color.[12]

Unlike other prosimians, tarsiers lack any toothcomb, and their dental formula is also unique:Upper: 2.1.3.3, lower: 1.1.3.3
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarsier

Day 23 #Marchphotoaday -MOON

Moon wasn't shining last night. that photo was taken last April 2011. Yay! time is really running so fast. i cant keep up :(

Day 22 #Marchphotoaday-Kitchen SInk

Ganda naman nang Kitchen SInk na ito ;p i want this in my homie.

Day 20 #Marchphotoaday - Before/After

He reminds me of my father :)

Day 21 #Marchphotoaday - Delicious

one of my favorito ;)

Day 19 #Marchphotoaday - FUNNY

Simsimi is trending in fb. a chatbot with great AI.

Day 18 #Marchphotoaday - A corner of your home

Just a thought

Somehow, once in a while, we want attention maybe not to the whole world but to the one we love.

Day 17 #Marchphotoaday - Green

Before Pink, i love GREEn!

Day 16 #Marchphotoaday - Sunglasses

I lost my sunglasses. Got plenty of them but somehow my fave and the only expensive sunglasses i had :(

Anyhow, every time i visit an optical shop i always try to put an aviator sunglasses but it really doesnt feel good. It only made me wish to have a nice longer nose.

Day 15 #Marchphotoaday -Car

JUST A CAR

Day 14 #Marchphotoaday - CLoud

This photo was taken last March. It's amazing how time flies so fast that it blew me off. It was like i still have my hangover last summer and now summer is here again..wew

Day 13 - #Marchphotoaday - A Sign

#bukasnalngkitamamahalin

Day 12 #Marchphotoaday - FORK

Since I don’t have a fork in my table, I just shoot at somebody else’s fork 
Dang me! What’s the use of fork aside from its usual purpose? Well you can use fork as a: knife (if you want to stab somebody and you don’t have a knife used fork), toothpick (you know, during inconvenient times), replacement of your spoon, and many more!