stop writing your past

I have a problem in the area of detachment.

Missing Tatay on Father's Day

We always celebrated father's day. This day meant creating greeting cards, buying cakes and ice creams, and some cheesy phone calls. I remembered my childhood days, our mother forced us to make cards for our tatay no matter how much i don't like it.

My father died six years ago but during this special day that i missed him the most. I remembered him tying my hair into ponytail. He likes me seeing that way. I remembered him looking at me without saying a word. I remembered him, smiling at me. I remembered our last talk, our last travel. I remembered the last time he got mad at me cos i want to be with my friends rather than accompanying him.

Among all of his children, I know i am his favorite. From the moment i was born i am my father's delight. Sometimes i dream of him yet every time it happened i can only saw his face and i cannot hear his voice.

I have't said i love him.

Dear Jan,

If you want to enjoy life, heal your toxic shame.

Toxic shame is your dream killer, your joy stealer, and your spirit cancer...

Don’t be afraid, because you won’t be put to shame. Don’t be discouraged, because you won’t be disgraced. You’ll forget the shame you’ve had since you were young… (Isaiah 54:4)

God

Strangers

It's sad when two people became strangers. when Just a little while ago, you shared secrets. You shared dreams. you shared laughter. You both know each others innermost thoughts. And it seems like you can't live without the other half. How do we became strangers? What happened to us? Was it just me?

Jealousy

Sometimes jealousy will eat you alive. It ruins you. We all get jealous. We are jealous of we thought our closed friend only to find out you're not part of their life. We are jealous of people's look, why they seemed to be perfect and we're not. We are jealous of intelligent people and wishes we have their brains...ANd a lot more!

The thing is how do we deal with it? How can we fight our emotions?
 The first step is acceptance.

Don't Quit

What's the point of judging others? will it give you a self satisfaction? does it make you feel superior? cos honestly i don't get this. At times i want to shout at their faces: "Please Re-evaluate yourself and above all else, please judge yourself and not the others". Group of professionals (so they called themselves) talk about their colleagues, cracking below-the-belt jokes, makes them laughing so hard. Watching them makes me sick like i want to evaporate. I think it's not my thing-tearing people down, mocking, scrutinizing. The world doesn't need that Let's spread love and joy!