Odd

One moment I’m ecstatic. I’m so high that I wanted to laugh my heart out. It’s as if I reaching the world, achieving my dreams and nothing can stop me. Life is so beautiful, All I see is beauty and heaven is within my reach. No worries. No sadness just full of love. My spirit leaps for joy. My heart is at peace. I’m forever grateful.    My soul is jumping for happiness, such a glorious bliss. Reminiscing wonderful memories, and seeing bright future.

 Then there are these moments that I cannot understand what I feel, like I want to scream.  I want to cry. I want to run away. I want to hide. I see ugliness in the world. I feel people’s hatred, their consuming heart, their wrath, their sadness. Dreams are so far away. Hope vanishes. Faith shudders.  Fears creep in. I feel so lonely and so alone.  I remember dark past and fidgeting for a bleak gloomy future.  Spirit crushed. Life is worthless.  Days are ticking and not feeling anything. Numb.